Awesome, Awesomer, Awesomest
by TheLegendaryTrainer
Summary: Ho-oh and Lugia go to their first Legendary meeting since the incident that caused Arceus to urge them out of their homes. At the Hall, Ho-oh realizes that the idiotic, filthy, lazy Moon goddess was not what she appeared to be. And once Lugia realizes that the overgrown Pidgey is after her heart, she won't let her emotions show without a fight. Multichapter Lugia(f) x Ho-oh(m)
1. The Beginning of the Rest of your Lives

_**Awesome, Awesomer, Awsomest: a Pokemon fanfiction (LegendShipping, LugiaxHo-oh)**_

_Lugia ~ Female, Ho-oh ~ Male_

Chapter 1

_**WARNING:**_There are a few swear words in this story, so if you are less than the age of twelve, this is a warning to you! Read at your own risk!

**_This Story is part of a collection called Heart & Soul which you can see (if you have a DeviantART account) Here (remove spaces):_**

thelegendarytrainer. deviantart / gallery/41586325**  
**

**Disclaimer :** I, TheLegendaryTrainer, own absolutely _nothing_ of Pokémon, Nintendo, Game Freak or their affiliates or subsidiaries. These stories are written just for the fun of it and for practice for my own original stories, I make no profit off of them.

**Authoress's note: I tried to make this Fanfiction a bit more serious than the others who portray Ho-oh in a similar manner, not putting awesome every couple of worlds. I hope that it turns out well. Reveiws won't do much to the progress of this story, but feel free to if you wish. Updates will be whenever I get them done. Asking about it here is going to do next to nothing. Ask me on my Deviantart account of the same name (TheLegendaryTrainer) if you feel the need to do so. (Even though on my profile it says that I will only post finished things, I felt the need to post this) This isn't my first foray into the Legendaryshipping fandom, I had a SUPER bad cosmosshipping songfic posted quite a while back(that I deleted). Anyways, here goes nothing**

**Thanks, T.L.T.**

_Key :_

Physical communication

_Psychic communication_

'_Thoughts'_

Ho-oh's Point of View

* * *

From the highest peak of Navel Rock I sat, pristine and proud, watching my subjects as they flew beneath me. They flew choppily, and compared to me, they looked like blundering Geodude with tiny Pidgey wings grafted to their shoulders. The light grin that graced my golden beak grew like a smothering wildfire that I had vengefully spread.

Rays of luminescent sunlight rained down from behind me and I raised my wings high, watching with a gleam in my eyes as the light refracted and a powerful rainbow spread from my wings. I would have to bestow upon my flying subjects a gift of beauty and awesomeness before I departed for the Hall of Origin for several torturous days were the God of life itself would overshadow me in amazingness. If only just. Peering up into the sky I saw that the sun was close to reaching its zenith, when Arceus had told us to be there, and I refused to be late. Being late was for the imperfect. ( I didn't believe in being fashionably late).

I stirred up detritus and grains of sand and my wings pumped instinctively to gain altitude while a rainbow radiated out from behind me in a shower of glittering golden particles. I could feel a twang of something in the back of my mind as I flew, something wrong, something forgotten. My wings flared out in full as I stopped dead in my tracks, I had forgotten _her_. That dingy, lazy, uncaring, _imperfect_, dolt of a Moon goddess. Remembering the last time I had saw her, I quaked. Her now uninhabited cave at the Whirl Islands was filled with debris from her fights with trainers that she was too lazy to clear away, and it had smelled of dampness and mold. Her once white-edged-with-silver feathers, were tinted a grey from dirt and grime that she was too lackadaisical to clean. I could have easily compared her to a Snorlax that had just eaten it's fill in food.

With a disappointed frown plastered on my beak, I unwillingly flew back to Navel Rock to retrieve her.

* * *

The gold stone walls of the almost unnaturally perfect cave soon melded into a silver tone, the path became steep and the air became damp. Soon enough, the sound of the gushing ocean reached my ears along with the pungent, but somehow still calming, smell of sea salt.

Sand squeezed up in-between my navy claws as the constricting cave opened into a grand hall-like chamber. A raised silvern platform of land jutted out from the center drifted down to meet the churning ocean that came in through an underwater cave. Sounds of waves crashing against their stone barriers roared into my ears, the smells and sounds of the ocean were overwhelming.

And there she was, curled into a tight, whitish spiral on the platform of silver-hued marble. I walked up to her with a deep, disapproving frown locked onto my beak. As I remembered before, her water-resistant feathers were coated in a filthy grime. Her breaths were deep, punctuated by the occasional rude snore. Refusing to touch her with my wings and dirt them with her collected filth, I resolved to kick her with my already sand-and-dirt-covered claws. Receiving only a slight groan from my nudge, I full-on kicked the moon goddess in the chest, nearly sending me toppling into the marble floor but I caught my self before she could see.

I watched with a smug grin as she jolted up unceremoniously, her grimy feathers ruffled every which way. Her wide eyes narrowed into a malignant glare as they settled on me. She snorted,

"What the hell are you doing here, you overgrown Pidgey."

"Lugia, my dear Lugia, what has become of your vocabulary? It seems to have come from a Castelia street-dweller instead of a Moon Goddess."

"What the fuck does my vocabulary have to do with you waking me up from my sleep?"

"Everything, my counterpart, we have a meeting today."

Her eyes widened ,

"Well why didn't you fucking say so?!"

She attempted to run past me but almost slammed into my wing. I decided that it would be easy to wash off a bit of grime from my wing, should she slam into it, but my pride would be damaged beyond repair if I was seen with her in her present filthy state.

"I refuse to let you come with me while you are like _that_, Lugia."

She peered down at her form with a questioning gaze,

"Like what?"

"You are covered in dirt."

"Dirt?"

"Yes," I said with a disappointed sigh, "grime, filth."

"I don't see anything wrong."

"I suggest you clean yourself, as I doubt that you remember the way to the Hall of Origin with your horrid memory. I refuse to wait forever and be tardy because of your laziness and uncaring ways."

Her light frown transformed into a grimace but she complied with little more than her trademark scowl and an annoyed grunt. I looked on with a victorious grin as she pivoted around to jump into the sea. I stepped closer as she launched herself eloquently off of the silvern platform with a spin and peering over the edge, I watched as the water barely even rippled as she penetrated its surface.

Her sleek form was distorted by the water's churning surface but I watched as she spun in detailed, hypnotizing patters, teasing the tides and water currents to converge upon and cleanse her. Her control over the tides was absolute and stunning, her prowess was ravishing and devastating. She could have easily been close to my level of perfect if she tried. But, alas, she couldn't care any less. A miniature whirlpool formed on the surface just over where her form could be seen performing mesmerizing underwater dances. She sprang from the epicenter of the swirling water sending a shower of glittering droplets asunder. Her wings opened to their full width and her head held high, she called the wind with her unadulterated authority over the air currents. It formed a cyclone that faded from the top down, in ribbons of air.

With an almost inaudible tap she landed, her silver tipped feathers clean and shining. The navy scales of her mask gleamed with reflected luminosity, highlighting her eyes that looked no where in particular.

"Good enough for you, Your Highness?"

I looked over her form, her feathers no longer carried a collected layer of filth and were all in perfect order, except for one on her forehead which stood straight up. She must have seen it to because her long, pink tongue reached up to smooth it down before I had to fix it. I laughed at something that you could have expected from a newly hatched Torchic and stepped over to her with a humorous aura plastered on my countenance, I just couldn't help it. She sighed helplessly at her fruitless attempt and she bowed her head to let me have a better look. It was just a tiny feather from her downy undercoat, and I pinched it with my beak and plucked it out, tossing it to the side. She winced lightly as I preened her forehead and the skin on her cheeks beneath her gleaming feathers took on a light scarlet hue at my actions. My own cheeks wished to replicate hers, but I refused to let it happen, it was her pride being destroyed, not mine. I pulled away with a tinge of reluctance, could I have made her look any better? I shook my head, we didn't have the time and I doubted that Dialga was going to give us any.

"Come now, Lugia, I don't wish be late. Let Raikou take Arceus's wrath for being tardy."

Responding with a subdued nod, she followed behind me, her tail forming semi-circles in the sandy cave path as she walked. I stopped with a huff,

" Lugia, hold your tail up, it is not a broom to sweep the earth with. Do you wish for it to become coated in unsightly filth again?"

She gave a weak sigh and lifted it up high off the ground, it did look a bit uncomfortable, but you had to make sacrifices in the name of beauty. Her blundering steps on land were nothing like the elegance that her actions and movements held underwater, she waddled like a Ducklett when she walked, and her huge, hand-like wings lay useless at her side.

The cave opened up onto the plain surface of the island whose dirt was not a glittering silver or a shimmering gold, but a dusty, lackluster grey. Sprigs of dried grass sprouted here and there in the shade of any sizable boulder while the sun beat down with unrelenting harshness.

I sprang up into the stifling air and pumped my wings as fast as I could and watched from the sky as she too jumped up into the sky.

The muscles beneath her waterproof feathers rippled with strength, and the harsh sunlight made her feathers shimmer. Her wings lifted her eloquent form from the parched earth and the whisper of air that she dispersed with her wings became overwhelming surges that spun fragments of dull stone and billowing clouds of dirt into the arid atmosphere. If I wasn't thinking about it, my jaw would have fell. But I had control over myself, and I had my pride.

Once she attained a decent amount of height, she shot up into the sky, silhouetted by the sun. Like a cocoon, she had her wings wrapped tightly around herself as she spun upwards. Sharply, she shot out her wings and drifted along on an air current and I realized that I was still only ten or so feet from the ground while she, now only an avian-shaped speck in the sky, was at least two hundred. Flapping rapidly, I gained altitude and rested just beside her on the same air current. With my wings flared out in full, I watched the rainbow spill from my feathers and drift towards the island which was now barely a smudge on the horizon.

The constantly churning ocean was losing my attention and I peered over the only other interesting thing within a hundred-foot range.

The sun was diagonally behind her and it's rays glinted off of her feathers that now shone with cleanliness, not harshly, but gently. Her sleek form seemed to shear the air apart with minimal friction and she glided almost like had done in the water. She just lay on the air current, lazily and relaxed, but not slouching. My eyes traced up to her head, every scale of her cobalt mask glinted like a perfect sapphire, the detail of it enchanting the simple monochrome of her intelligent eyes. She was the perfect Moon Goddess, sleek and eloquent, intelligent but laid back, just going with the flow of the tides. I was unashamedly staring at her with such force that when she noticed she said,

"Trying to kill me by burning a hole in the side of my head?"

She grinned smugly before flicking her tail and performed an aileron roll, flipping stomach-up, letting the warmth of the sun's rays soak into her underside.

I felt perfect, stunning, the waning sun making the fading vestiges of light glint off of my prismatic feathers and a rainbow cape trailed behind me. It shortened while the sun set, as if it were a large biscuit that was being eaten by a Sharpedo. A golden trail formed on the water and as we turned slightly, it seemed as if we were riding upon it, a golden road laid out just for us, I liked the sound of that.

Our temporary home at Navel Rock wasn't home, not even close. I wished just to be back at my rightful place, at the top of Bell Tower and hear the aged bronze bell toll in my honor. It was like an ache in my chest, and I knew that Lugia missed her home at the Whirl Islands as well. She had just as much of an attraction to the dank, damp cavern as I did to the oriental, detailed tower where I slept when I wasn't all over the Pokemon world.

But it was what Arceus decreed, she was afraid that a trainer would come and harm us or catch us so that we would be unable to perform our respective jobs. The large influx of trainers scared me a bit too, Lugia never had as many trainers arrive at her home as I did, but it was still noticeable. Living in a cave where you had to surf over the ocean and a path of particularly dangerous whirlpools and find the correct island, then go through a maze of a cavern made it extremely tough to reach her. Then you had to battle with a Demi-God that controlled the moon, tides, air currents, and had psychic powers. Only the toughest trainers came to her door, and her fighting skills were honed exceptionally because of this.

Even if it was for our own safety, I hated leaving my human worshipers out in the cold and Lugia had told me that it was much harder to control the tides from here, since all the world's tides converged around the Whirl Islands. Hence the name and the abundance of whirlpools. And I really missed the trainers, some of them were horrible battlers but cute, and some of them were amazing at battling, their strategies pre-planned and they improvised when needed, everything focused upon my weaknesses(not that I had many, if at all)and they had backup after backup, what they all had in common, male or female, was that they had pure hearts. And even though as of late I had been tired because of all the trainers arriving to fight me, I felt a pang of joy in my heart when I heard the golden bells on the top of the tower toll eloquently and the traditional and mystic chants of the Kimono girls as they welcomed me down from the sky. I didn't know what made the trainers fit to see Lugia, and never did, so I peered over at her and threw a question out into the awkward roaring silence,

"Lugia what makes the trainers qualified to battle you?"

The calm and happiness was gone from her eyes, washed away by those words, she answered with a tinge of reluctance and sadness in her voice and her form became stiff and jerky in the air.

"Strength. They don't even seem to care where it came from, I've seen the strongest of teams with tortured pokemon. It makes me sick. I feel bile in my throat just thinking about it, lines of damaged flesh and dried blood and how they throw themselves in the way of my attacks to see if they can kill themselves."

She turned her head away from me and squeezed her eyes shut as if trying to dispose of the image that was most certainly burned into her corneas.

" Besides, I haven't seen a trainer in a long time. The bells in my cavern are coated with stains of rust and are spotted with patches of barnacles and mold. Nobody cares for a fear-inducing sea monster when they can have a beautiful and awe-inspiring phoenix at their side."

She fell into an almost comatose state, not moving, talking, or responding to any attempt at conversation or eye contact. Her eyes were shut and she drifted without much movement on the air current.

After quite a while, a burst of air next to me alerted me to her movement. She had fell into a downwards spiral towards the ocean. I watched as she glided under the surface of the star-speckled water, a thin trail of moonlight, like liquid silver, highlighted her path. I could see that she was in her element. Under the moon and stars with the ocean caressing her and supporting her more than any living being could do. Normally in awe of myself, I was now completely mystified by her.

Her form seamlessly cleaved the water, leaping out with a flourishing twirl, leaving a shower of droplets in her wake. Her shadowed and distorted body lay under the water and I flew down closer to the surface of the great liquid expanse. I flew directly over her, she was swimming stomach up and her eyes looking but not seeing and I flew straight ahead, I don't think ether of us cared were we went, or that we would be horribly late. The beads of water that splashed up and clung onto my feathers didn't worry me. I could see how she was so calm and collected, just this, swimming carelessly over the water, watching the stars come out in full . My reflection rippled and distorted over her shadowed form as we continued on.

Land broke over the horizon, ebony, but speckled with the light of the cities. Over the top of the highest point on the landmass - Spear Pillar - lay a great and twinkling star, signifying the meeting to the legendaries, just a pretty star to the humans. But, to the religious folk(which was the vast majority of the population), it signified a time of worship. They thought that it meant that the Gods were using it as their eyes into the mortal world. That they were using it as a way to decide which humans were to spend an eternity of their lives with Giratina and which got to live with their patron God or Goddess in the Hall of Origin. The good souls didn't live in the Hall though, they lived in a special section of their God or Goddess's dimension that was only accessible by the God/Goddess who inhabited said dimension or Palkia. But the spacial Goddess was severely punished if she ventured into another's Soul Sanctuary. And the Original Three certainly didn't live in their own dimensions for any great length or abundance of time unless they were severely harmed and needed to regenerated their powers and heal.

I sighed, now just realizing how late we were and how mad Arceus was going to be when we arrived. But I had to keep my head up, my pride depended on it. Lugia needed not know that I was scared of Arceus's retribution. I peered down at Lugia who still had her eyes staring at nothing particular. I reached into her mind with my meager psychic powers. As soon as I divulged into it I felt calm, was this how she felt? Like she was a part of the moon, the ocean, the sky? As if she were drifting without any purpose? I shook my head and placed a statement in the dips and twists of her brain waves,

"_We're almost there"_

Her eyes became focused again, the ebony pupil dilated and contracted, hooking on white-capped waves and ocean dwelling Pokémon before settling on me. She seemed a bit dispondent that I had destroyed her trance, bringing her back to where reality waited in a lethal silence to ruin her dreams and peace.

"_All right . . . Could you move?"_

I nodded absent-mindedly and rose up about thirty feet, my mind trained on how we could get to the top of Spear Pillar the fastest possible.

She rent the water's surface and flapped leisurely up, up past me and rested uncaring on an air current.

Did she realize how late we were? How much trouble we were going to be in, and how much yelling that we were going to get from a stressed-out Arceus? Did she care? Looking up at her, barely moving, only when her stability was jeopardized, I severely doubted it.I flapped up with vigor and called out,

"We are going to be _late_!"

She didn't even look at me when she replied.

"We're already late so what does it matter?"

I let out a stressed huff while the air current dipped and she flapped for a bit until she found a new one.

"I'll leave you behind and you'll have to find the rest of the way on your own."

I flapped faster and gained a bit of a lead ahead of her to prove my point.

" Besides the obvious fact that I'm a lot faster than you and could catch up with ease, I can almost see Spear Pillar now. I could easily find my way"

I growled a bit.

"Can we just go faster?"

She huffed in annoyance before performing another aileron roll and nodding. She pumped her giant hand-like wings in a steady beat, easily passing me and the tiny headway I had made. Soon she was up to full speed, a speed at which I could not hope to catch her.

Then, I, as the humans said, floored it. Going so fast that after a few seconds of going my wings felt as if the joints would fail and they would become like boiled noodles, and I still wasn't making any headway.

Noticing my frustration, she dipped lightly into my mind, dropping a reserve of energy behind her. I flew steadily as she slowed to fly beside me, she was laughing heartily.

"And you're telling me to hurry?"

I grumbled for a few seconds, but eventually returned the grin. Her's wasn't filled with ego or pride like mine would have been had I been faster, but was just lightly humorous and teasing.

"I'll stay here with you, Slowpoke."

Her humility, even though she had just won and damaged my pride, just made my pride take another blow. I just decided to stay quiet and see if that would keep her quiet. And it did, she didn't say anything, but the vestiges of the childish grin remained plastered on her countenance.

Soon, Sinnoh's buildings came into view, even though we were still a great distance from them our extremely powerful vision amplified the scene to great detail, more than any High Definition T.V. or 20/20 vision. We could have counted the windows on the skyscrapers if we had wished to do so. We flew higher up and disappeared behind a cloud, not wishing to be seen, especially not by any fanatic collectors. The crisp air soon turned smoggy, making us rise up to get a breath of clean air. But as we neared Spear Pillar, the air generally became cleaner, as none would wish to anger the great spatial-temporal gods who inhabited the mountain's peak.

We passed over a small community that we didn't know the name of but, as in the big cities, there was chanting. But here, it wasn't obscured by noise. Even the wildlife was silent and the wind was dead. It was mystic and confusing, but not the words themselves, it was the way they spoke it and how it seemed to ring out with an esoteric quality that hung in your head long after the sound of the real words had faded from the area. Most likely some sort of worship prayer, especially for when the special star came out. We hovered and listened for a moment.

_" . . .may the Original Three spare us from the shaded one, the tainted one, the blackened one. May they let us pass into the dimension of the Original One and live there for forever more . . ."_

We continued on without a sound, as to not disturb their worship.

* * *

Spear Pillar became clearer and clearer as we rose up until we could make out the cryptic runes that formed Palkia and Dialga.

We both stood waiting for a bit until Lugia got impatient and cried/complained out to the sky where the Hall of Origin should appear. And so it did.

A haunting flute melody rung out, ringing out briefly, disappearing as quickly as it had come. It's echo fading from the mountain top, but not our minds, mingling with the remains of the chant and making me shiver. From the tile that had some sort of religiously symbolic polygon engraved on it, came a shower of gold and white particles that shot up diagonally into the air. They solidified into golden steps that seemed that they would go on forever, until they came to an abrupt stop and started to form a grand building that was large enough to fit even a Wailord with ease. The temple was made with a pristine and glittering crystal that was made in detailed panels. The entire building was symmetrical until the great golden doors were formed and a blue-tinted diamond formed on the right, surrounded by an odd crest of polished steel and a lustrous salmon-hued pearl that was encompassed by a pinwheel of lavender lay on the right. Lying at the center was the wheel that resided on Arceus's mid-section, raised from the rest of the golden surroundings, it glowed like the pearl and diamond, except not in a violet or azure, but in a blinding white luminescence.

And in every depiction of what we didn't want to happen, the doors swung open and a pissed and deranged looking Arceus lay behind. It was like one of those advent calendars, and when you open a door and find that it was one of those old-lady hard candies that get stuck in your teeth. Like toffee or something. Except that the toffee was going to punish us for our tardiness with it's God powers.

From beside me, Lugia drew back several feet from her and refused to look Arceus in the eye, but I warily peered up at her. It seemed as if she could have killed me with that gaze of hers. She looked positively insane, her fur was ruffled every which way and there might have been some sort of unsightly neon-pink substance smeared on her cheek. It took every bit of me not to back away slowly like they tell you to do in the case that you meet a rabid Ursaring. But I somehow held her gaze and said,

"Good evening, Arceus."

She started her seemingly purposeful slow descent down the steps without a sound besides the clinking of her golden hooves on the matching stairway. As she neared, Lugia became taut and barely breathed as if she feared to anger her more with even a slight movement.

She stopped stiff in front of us, and simply turned her head to face each of us. In a second every muscle in her body relaxed spontaneously and she let out a deep and stressed sigh.

"_Thank Alpha and Omega for your arrival, I though I was going to go insane. Even I cannot tolerate this insanity. Why are you both late?"_

My mind raced to formulate an excuse that would suffice for the God of life itself, but she derailed my train of though before it could even get going.

"_Never mind that now, I am in need of your assistance. Even I cannot control the chaos that ensues inside that building now."_

She motioned with a tip of her head for us to follow her and she started her return trip up the stairs. We launched off from the ground, being careful not to hit the broken pillars on our way up. I peered over at Lugia who seemed glad that she had not been strung out between the fractured pillars and de-limbed violently by a temporarily deranged God_._ I grinned to myself as we landed just behind Arceus at the top of the staircase before following her in. The entrance hall was relatively quiet, only tiny vestiges of the insane sound seeped into the room. Some pinkish-red liquid seeped out from in under the door similar to the stuff that stained the fur on Arceus's muzzle. I held my breath before releasing it in a deep sigh, we had to go in there? Where 44 legendary Pokémon _**gods **_were in a hyper, drunk and crazy state? I flinched while Arceus took several deep breaths and Lugia backed away from the door with wide, glassy eyes and a look that could have come from an insane person with a straight jacket.

Just before Arceus could open the door a shattering crash sounded out a several 'whoot!'s sounded out from behind the only thing that separated us from rampaging gods with no self-control or inhibitions and who were most likely drunk and hyper simultaneously_. _

Arceus peered over at both of us with pity and an 'I'm sorry' look in her eyes before coating the golden door with her white and gold-flecked psychic aura and flinging it open. The second it was fully open, it reminded me of a fissure straight into a sugar- hyper Distortion World. Groudon, who had apparently been leaning on the door, fell unceremoniously to the floor with an exaggerated cry. Several tin cans of Monster Energy flew out and were dodged by the three of us and they crashed the floor behind us with a clang. An antique Tiffany lamp studded with diamonds and pearls flew out from Deoxys's hand. Arceus caught it with a frightened look pasted on her countenance, and she then opened a portal to her dimension and laid it gently inside. She smeared a stern emotion on her visage and holding her head high, she marched into the room. I was between the Devil and deep ocean now, between getting mutilated by Gods or getting punished by the most powerful thing in this dimension for disobedience. I stepped into the torture chamber with a reluctance painted onto every part of me and Lugia snuck in behind, using my slightly wider form as a shield for projectiles as she ducked.

From here, I could see the steel types huddling in the corner that was farthest from the epicenter of the destruction, Cobalion, Heatran, Uxie and and Jirachi curling up in under Dialga's giant steel tail fan with Genesect periodically peeping out from behind his foreleg, firing Techno Blasts at random Pokémon and switching drives for super effective hits. Then Dialga would occasionally throw up a Protect screen to deflect flying debris. Kyogre had made a mini-whirlpool and had caught a laughing Manaphy and a both giggling and crying Shaymin in its swirling cone. Palkia had taken her new favorite game and made it real, I think it was called Portal. There was one orange dimensional rift on the ceiling and another blue one on the floor. Reshiram had his muzzle over the blue one and Zekrom was pouring a keg of beer near his white head and he drank it as it fell from the orange rift.

The two draconian females got a mischievous look on their countenances and then Palkia looked at Zekrom with a questioning look in her eyes and Zekrom nodded for some form of sly confirmation. Reshiram was busy chugging beer with a chorus of "CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!" echoing out around him. Palkia then snuck behind him and gave him a vicious kick that reminded me of something that you would do to a football, and he fell into the portal with the most girlish scream that I had ever heard from any male. Zekrom pulled back the keg of beer but a stream of it's brown liquid still flew through the portals in an infinite loop along with a feathered, white blur that was a screeching Reshiram. Those who weren't laughing at Reshiram or caught in a Kyogre-made whirlpool were playing spin the bottle over in the center of the floor. Rayquaza was using the largest wine bottle I had ever seen and the crowd that formed the circle included the Lati twins, the beast trio, the winged mirages, Mesprit, Azelf, the musketeer trio, the two mews , all of the Regis, the Kami trio and several others that I couldn't tell who they were because they were spinning around in a drunken stupor. Kyurem was already passed out on Rayquaza's coiled tail and occasionally he would reach his hand down as if to see if she was still there.

"_ALL OF YOU, STOP THIS INSTANT!" _

Arceus's voice rang out to all of them and they all turned their heads to peer at her with a confused look on their countenances, then, Rayquaza started laughing raspily and the rest of them followed toute suite. They picked up whatever was in range of their grasp and launched it at us with surprising accuracy for a group of drunken fools as quintet of steel types and the psychic type in the corner pushed themselves into the crevice further, like a Pachirisu being cornered by a man with a rifle_. _I heard a grunt from behind me as Lugia covered them in her navy psychic aura and transported them over next to us. Jirachi collapsed from his hover and fell face first onto the floor while the legs of Cobalion, Heatran and Dialga collapsed right out from under them and the four of them landed with a thud. Genesect managed to catch an unconscious Uxie before she hit the ground. A rain of random objects still fell around us and was deflected by Lugia's Reflect, creating a ring of trash where the shimmering barrier hit the ground. Arceus walked over to check on her first-born son while they reoriented themselves. I waited for the hail of objects to cease, or at least slow enough so that I wouldn't be knocked out in seconds flat from severe head trauma. Soon enough they ran out of objects and their psychic powers were unusable in their drunken state, so they flopped to the ground, giggling like a group of five-year-old girls. Reshiram was still in his infinite loop, most likely unconscious and surrounded by two snickering draconian females who would probably kick him back in if he were to escape. Just to grind salt into the wounds they both caused, the spacial dragon and the Yang dragon picked up the now empty keg of beer and tossed it there with him. I winced as every several seconds you could hear a dull thud.

From behind me I heard Dialga grunt as he righted himself from the crystalline floor, now standing over all of us except Lugia by at least a couple of feet. I never really talked to the Temporal dragon god, nor did I ever notice how intimidating he was up at a closer range. His ruby eyes drove into my own as he stared at me, then Lugia, before returning to me. They looked positively _frightening_ with the glinting translucent scarlet rubies that contained enough knowledge to put even me to shame. Me! Of all the Pokémon! I was one of the seniors of the Legendary Council! Besides that, his body was sturdily built with razor sharp steel plates covering his claws, chest, muzzle, and back. He weighed at least a thousand pounds, his feet thundering when they came into contact with the shining floor. The scales that coated his form here a deep navy that glinted like the night-time scene of stars reflecting on the rippling ocean, the scales seemed to be sectioned by embedded streams of baby blue-tinted diamond that shone, but not to the extent of the one that lay in the tempered steel plate. That particular one shone with it's own aura, differentiating itself from the one of pure power that encompassed him.

He growled lightly, almost to himself, then stomped one grand foot on the crystal tiles, causing the floor to shake a bit before speaking psychically to me.

"_I will freeze the Beat of Time around them, then we will knock them all unconscious, how does this sound?"_

I nodded rapidly, eager to end the demented madness that ensued around us, only separated by an infinitely thin barrier that, now that I had taken a closer look, was starting to flicker.

"_And you better hurry, I can't hold this Reflect for much longer."_

He nodded curtly at Lugia, then turned towards Arceus to confirm his plan with her while Jirachi and Cobalion cowered underneath Lugia's wing.

I watched with dinner-platter eyes as he raised his steel-protected head and the energy around him began to gather into a swirling mass in his open maw. The diamond in his chest plate began to expand it's aura and the color became deeper, from a baby blue then azure finally a translucent royal blue that shimmered like the searing heat of the summer and radiated outwards in waves. A roar emanated from his gaping mouth in rings of ocean blue, the first one slowing, then the next few freezing the drunken legends in time.

I snickered to myself as Deoxys was frozen at the apex of a ballerina-like mid-air jump and Reshiram was hanging suspended, tongue hanging out and eyes rolled back into his head.

With an exhausted grunt Lugia let down the Reflect and we peered out to assess the damage.

By whatever unconscious divine intervention, probably Arceus or Dialga since Palkia was drunk and frozen in time, nothing substantial or of any worth was broken, it was just a big mess of shattered glass from beer bottles, random crushed cans of soft drink and wrappers from chips and chocolate bars. The jury seats for the legendary council were relatively unharmed, they just had several unconscious inhabitants. We had found a relatively large stash of chocolate, candy, Monster Energy and beer kegs in the corner opposite where Dialga's troupe had been bunkered for the majority of the rave party and had emptied it into a storage closet, never to be found again. Arceus's pedestal hadn't been damaged either, and the goddess walked up to it and opened up the portal to her dimension before placing the Tiffany lamp back on the corner of the golden stand then collected and reorganized the papers and attendance log that had been scattered about the room. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Dialga hitting the Pokémon over the side of the head with his massive, steel-covered foot then letting time around them flow again and they tumbled to the floor unconscious. When he came to his space-controlling sister, a wicked smirk tipped the ends of his muzzle up and he viciously beat her over the side of the head several times before letting time flow around her again. He received a nasty glare from Arceus before he carried on with his work with a cheerful grin pasted on his face.

Lugia had formed a mini hurricane to sweep up the trash that was littered everywhere then laid it down in front of me to burn. I lit the pile of garbage with a Sacred Fire and watched as it was reduced to a mere tiny pile of ashes in seconds. Just another example of my ample horizon of perfected skills.

Arceus huffed somewhere to my left,

"_Get several pallets of Tylenol, Advil and Ibuprofen and a pool full of fresh water please Lugia. We are going to have to have a lot of hangovers to deal with tomorrow." _

* * *

Several tiring hours later, we finished cleaning the meeting hall and nothing was left from the previous disaster besides thirty-nine unconscious gods and demigods who were scattered about on the jury seats and floor. Dialga had since released his hold over the Beat of Time and it now flowed freely everywhere in the Hall. The pallets of medication that Lugia had transported in from the High Goddesses infinite stash of medical items lay near Arceus's pedestal and several kiddie pools of cool, clean water from Lake Acuity were down near the door waiting to be ingested by hung-over gods. Lugia slid unceremoniously to the now shining floor with an exhausted grunt, I glared at her but she outright ignored me. I stormed over to her despite my fatigue and for the first time in my immortal life, glowered down at the slouching moon goddess.

"Stand up straight!", I squawked impatiently at her, "I can't have my counterpart being a lackadaisical bag of bones! It ruins my untainted reputation!"

I heard her mutter under her breath,

"Your 'perfect' reputation is already ruined by your massive ego and unadulterated self-absorption."

My eyes flashed open and she snickered and righted herself from the floor.

"That's right, even though you insult me you still must listen to my higher authority - "

She simply moved up into the council seats and slammed down onto her rightful spot, the smirk still clear as day on her beaming, teasing face.

I huffed and pivoted to see what the rest of the conscious council was doing. Cobalion was asleep on the floor with Jirachi on his back, his fur still in monumental disarray. Arceus and Dialga were chatting quietly up near Arceus's pedestal about nothing in particular besides the irresponsibility of the council. Genesect was hunkered next to Heatran talking about something unimportant compared to any of my affairs. I sighed, it was just as well to sit down and wait.

My tail feathers had almost grazed the floor, when I realized, I couldn't sit on a floor! No matter how clean or recently cleaned it was. I straightened up and made my way towards my jury seat. Lugia was almost touching it's edge, but not quite, that meant not quite a good enough reason to smack the torpid goddess upside the head. I sat down in my seat, making sure that I was in a position in which I would not ruffle or squat my tail feathers into anything resembling the state of Cobalion's fur, and I fell asleep with a deep sigh.

* * *

Quite a while later I awoke to a pained groan and several light thuds; the unconscious gods were awakening.

I felt a light pressure on my shoulder and the overwhelming salty scent of the sea struck me. Peering cautiously down, I saw that Lugia had laid her feathered head on my shoulder. Her breathing was light and indistinct against the roaring jumble of fatigued gods, but it ghosted over my shoulder and made my crimson feathers stand on end. A faint smile painted itself onto my countenance but it was quickly vanquished by a frown.

I fluttered my feathers and pulled away, letting her sapphire crested head hit the oak seat with a dull thud. I flitted down to the floor with a huff and my head held skyward. I hoped that no one had seen that. She snored lightly, how was she still asleep?! She was a heavier sleeper than Groudon!

The ground and rock types came to first. Groudon sat up and rubbed his head with his gigantic, meaty claw, making irritating grating noises from the friction between his crimson scales and his sharp claws. He swore colorfully before righting himself. Then Terrakion rose from her place on the crystal floor, shaking her horned head while she stomped her thick front legs with a resounding thud. Soon enough, the entire council - except for the water types - were up, about, swearing, groaning and complaining about everything that existed. Groudon tottered over to me and slurred in my ear,

"What is that?", pointing at the tablets of medication.

"Tylenol, Advil, and Ibuprofen to relieve headaches."

Without further hesitation, he stumbled over to it and tried to pry off the tightly wrapped saran wrap from the boxes with clumsy slashing motions. I gave an impatient huff I stepped over and pried away the static plastic with my beak and plucked a bottle of extra strength Tylenol out for him. He snatched it with a grunt, ripped off the plastic cap and downed the entire thing. I then pointed my wing over to the nearest pool of water when he began to choke, he then chugged several mouthfuls of the liquid before settling himself on the floor next to it for convenience. Several others started towards me and I ended up handing out the medication out like candy on Halloween night.

At this point I doubted that the water types were going to wake up at all. They'd been laying there, senseless, for who knows how long. With a sigh I walked over to Lugia who was still dozing soundly with her head on my jury seat. I huffed and swatted it away like a dead Ninjask with my wing. She awoke with a start then looked around in an almost comical fashion. Her dagger-shooting eyes came to a stop on me, attempting to sear a hole through my head, I ignored her and sat down, but it just became too much after a bit and I returned the gaze in kind.

"What in the Distortion World did you do that for?!"

Her voice was still husky from sleep and it cracked several times, heightening to a pitch that made my ears pang. I barely managed to hold a straight face.

I made a huffing sound and turned away from her, peering out over the now diminutive stashes of headache pills, half empty pools of water and the groaning gods. I noticed a stir of mauve and lavender farther out in my field of vision, then, several seconds later, a stir of royal blue, white and crimson.

I heard the spacial goddess groan and watched as she gripped her head with both hand-like claws. Kyogre squeezed her golden eyes shut as tightly as she could in a vain attempt at screening out the blinding light that poured from every possible crevice in the entire hall, eventually she gave up with a sigh, realizing that it was futile, then plopped straight from her hover down onto the crystalline floor to sleep. I snickered heartily as that little newbie shrimp, Manaphy, tottered around after his first Legendary party and probably his first time getting drunk.

I could practically guarantee that he wouldn't be drinking for quite some time after this jolting experience.

I removed myself from Lugia's irritating presence, stepping down from the jury seats and wondering why Arceus couldn't have given me a sensible and reasonable counterpart.

The remaining stores of pills depleted quite swiftly with the remains of the council up and about the Hall which was now teeming with noise. It was basically a cacophony of groans, complaints, swear words that would make Giratina and Darkrai blush, and thuds of people giving up and falling asleep straight on the floor. Dirty scoundrels.

After a bit I realized that Lugia was still giving me a dirty look every so often out of the corner of her eye. I couldn't ignore it, then went down to talk to Arceus and Dialga who were overseeing the hung-over legends to make sure they didn't do anything stupid. She wouldn't dare do something ignorant like that while two-thirds of the Original Trio was watching.( It's not like Palkia would have cared - drunk or not - anyway)

The burning, prickling, pins-and-needles sensation that raised the feathers on the back of my neck faded as she placed her attention another poor individual or thing.

" . . . I think that this would be the _perfect_ punishment for Palkia when she does something idiotic."

_"No."_

"We could inject alcohol directly into her veins since she's a water type."

_"**No**."_

"But -"

_"**No! **Dialga, how many times do I have to say 'Nothing with pain, discomfort or bodily harm'!"_

"It's the only way she will learn."

*sigh* _"No."_

"You are playing favorites again."

_" I have no favorites."_

"Of course you do! It's blatantly obvious! So, how about it, a hangover as punishment for her childish behavior. "

"_**No**_."

"I say that a warning will just make it worse, like I say, old-time things are better than new."

_"NO."_

"It doesn't even have to be a hung-over stupor, it could be a lashing! Like I said about old things-"

_"Why did I make you a steel and dragon type! Such a stubborn, unreasonable . . . "_

Arceus stepped into her previously locked chamber behind her pedestal, then slammed the golden doors in her wake, most likely continuing with her incessant muttering. I peered over at the temporal dragon who didn't even seem a bit crestfallen at his results. I gave him a questioning look before turning away to oversee the legends.

Most of them simply sat there in their pokemon forms, although some, such as Kyogre, Palkia and the spirit trio had transformed into humans.

I watched as the spacial goddess righted herself from the floor and stumbled over towards her door to the right of Arceus's chamber. I watched her failing attempt at getting peace and quiet bite the dust as she was just about there and her brother stuck out his tail and she fell face first on the floor.

So that robot-esque steel type had a personality after all. I had now amassed enough evidence to prove it.

He walked away with a subdued grin on his draconic face, transformed into his human form, then opened the door to his room and stepped inside just as she righted herself from her comical face plant.

"Da _fuck_ jus happened . . ."

She managed to slur out a butchered version of the English language before retreating to her room. I guessed that I was now in control of the crowd of hung over Pokémon. A position that I didn't want to be in at all.

They would always listen to one of the Original Three if they said anything, but me? No matter how perfect I was, they just laughed. Even if some of them were taller than both Arceus and Palkia ( only Rayquaza was taller than Dialga) they would never dare ignore a direct order from them. Not only were at least fifty percent of them taller than me, several of them, grudgingly admitted, were stronger than me too.

I was lucky that they were all still too incapacitated to do anything that would require my intervention. (although Mew and Raikou could almost definitely find a way to _something_ stupid)

I tipped my head back to the ceiling and looked out into the spacial window. The sun was almost perfectly centered over a background of mingling violet and royal blue. It was almost midday! I guessed that we would have the meeting tomorrow, they usually took at least several hours and the longest one that I remember was one that lasted almost a whole day because of arguing between Groudon and Kyogre and Palkia and Dialga. Arceus and Rayquaza finally managed to subdue the four of them with bodily harm. Nobody was pleased that time and the next meeting had a record low attendance. Deciding that I didn't want to stand there watching a bunch of bumbling buffoons, I flew over to my jury seat and flicked the sleeping Lugia in the side of her head.

She scowled but just as she was opening her beak-like mouth to say a stupid retort to my unexpected actions when I stated,

"Now, I have better things to do than look after this sorry bunch of hung over hooligans. Since you have nothing better to do with your time, than why don't you look after them! That's a great idea, don't you think?"

I flashed her a cheesy grin before I flew off, as fast as I possibly could, to the dorm-esque rooms where we all slept. I hoped that her fatigue would prevent her from reaching her top speed, or, hopefully, not let her get up at all. Disgusting, lazy thing.

I turned to the right at Arceus's pedestal, and stopped at a grandiose, almost pompous, oak door that was embedded with gold around the engravings. I transformed into my human form and stepped through it. It led into a hallway that I hadn't seen for quite some time, it seemed to have gotten longer from when I had last seen it. More spacial compression from the pink and purple dinosaur who was too childish for her own good. There were more doors for the Unova legends at the far end where it turned to meet the balcony of the dimensional lookout. Each door was oak, but was studded or accented with something that represented the inhabitants' powers or interests. The first door was Uxie's, then Mesprit's, then Azelf's and from there, they progressed by region that the particular legend had reigned from. The Kanto legends started with Mew, then her clone and the separate rooms for each member of the mirage trio. Then Lugia's oak door that was accented with spirals of silver and tiny faceted crystals of every shade of blue. Across from it lay my door, accented with intricate runes of gold and tiny, eloquent spectrums of precious jewels. I opened it and peered around at my surroundings.

The room was done in an old-fashioned way at my request. The woodwork was intricate and the walls were done with wainscoting, gold wall paper with bronze vine patterns and a mission oak stain on the boards as well as the floor. A detailed egg-and-dart molding bordered the cream ceiling and crown molding ran along the floor. There was a depression on the ceiling where a bronze candle chandelier hung, the candles all lit. A canopy bed with a plush crimson comforter lay in the corner furthest from the door accompanied by a bedside table that had a lace doily and a bronze oil lamp. An oak Davenport desk lay in the corner the furthest from the bed and a neat stack of yellowed papers from who-knows-when and a Altaria feather quill and a closed ink pot adorned it's surface.

I shut the door and threw myself down onto the plush bed, letting myself sink into the mattress. From the corner of my eye, I peered at the maple grandfather clock that sat, counting away the seconds. It was synchronized with the main clock which lay in Dialga's room and I wondered when he had set the alarm for the next morning. Probably around six or seven o'clock in the morning just in case he and his counterpart got into another ceaseless feud.

I peeled off my uchikake and lay it on the edge of my bed along with my kimono, geta, tabi, obi and headdress. I threw up the covers and buried myself under the silk-like cotton blankets before dozing off and hoping the alarm wouldn't ever sound.

* * *

**Definitions :**

~ Uchikake : A type of Japanese attire similar to a kimono, but worn over a regular kimono as a cloak. One does not tie an obi around an Uchikake and it is extremely formal and is made of hand-died silk with sleeves that almost or do drag on the floor.

~Geta : The stilt-like traditional shoes of the Japanese, they are made with wood and have straps like a pair of flip-flops. They are worn with a pair of tabi. They wear these so that the bottoms of their kimonos do not get filthy from touching the ground.

~Obi : The belt worn over the kimono, but not the Uchikake. It is tied in a bow at the back.

~ Tabi : A pair of socks that are almost like a normal socks except for the fact that they have a special place for the big toe so that you can wear a pair of Geta with them.

**Stats (**does not count Authors Note, definitions, etc**) : **

This chapter's words **:** 9038

Cumulative words **: **9038

Paragraphs :170

Characters : 40969

Sentences : 452

Pages in Word Perfect at size 12 font and in Times New Roman ≈18

* * *

**EDITS : **_Saturday, April 13th, 2013_ : Some decently major editing done. Changing bits around, fixing misspelled words, grammar, added Genesect and changed where Heatran was, flow, etc.


	2. A Silver-Hearted Trainer

_**Awesome, Awesomer, Awsomest: a Pokemon fanfiction (LegendShipping, LugiaxHo-oh)**_

Chapter 2

**Happy belated Easter!**

**Warning : **There is even more swear words in this chapter because of the fact that it is Lugia's Point of View. If you feel that the story should be rated T instead of K+, tell me so if I get enough complaints from different people I can change it.

**Disclaimer :** I, TheLegendaryTrainer, own absolutely nothing of Pokémon, Nintendo, Game Freak or their affiliates or subsidiaries. These stories are written purely for the fun of it and for practice for my own original stories, I make no profit off of them.

**Authoress's Note :** Here's the second chapter! I've never made an attempt at present tense before, so don't kill me here!It'll be back to regular next chapter. It's also really late, I had two hockey tournaments and was in a different town for quite some time, I apologize. It was almost done but then I had to go to play hockey. And, yes, Lugia speaks to herself with bad grammar and lots of swear words. Not quite as good as the other chapter, sorry bout' that(it's almost a bit of a filler chapter because I wanted to try and write Lugia's Point of View). And Manaphy has a Newfie accent, almost exactly like my own! YESH! I was going to give it to Palkia or Kyogre but I decided to put it on more of a side character. Still, pretty happy that I managed to squeeze that in there somewhere.

**Lugia's Point of View ****(present tense)**

* * *

That little sneaky bastard! He pawned this sucky job off on me! I'm the only sober person here now!

I wonder if they have any more beer . . .

Shaking my head, I might as well keep an eye on them, otherwise the counterparts are going to start a world war over a stubbed toe/flipper/whatever. They're pretty stupid with that stuff after all, any excuse to fight was a good one when you were drunk.

After a couple of minutes looking over the group of drunk failures, I've decided that they aren't in any immediate danger of a revolt and decide to relive my drunk memories. (ahh, good times)

I decide to recall the time me, Zekrom, Palkia, Groudon, Raikou, Deoxys, Thundurus and several others went to the Sevii glitch isle 24 through a spacial distortion only accessible by the Goddess of Space herself, as such, Arceus or one of the stricter legends couldn't ruin our drunken fun. Of course, Kia had to be a water type so she got super drunk in record time, then we couldn't get home! Stuck on a glitchy island with no way out. Sometimes, the ground would get all screwy and it would show a blackish empty space that we jumped over. It was like leap Politoed or something. We also dropped beer bottles down there and came to the conclusion that it went on forever. As water types have a high concentration of water in their veins, Kia took forever clearing the alcohol out of her system and we were stuck there for a good two days at least. Never again. _Never again._

I also remember not-so-long-ago when I used to get really depressed about the near-suicide of several trainer Pokémon and started to drink a lot. Too much apparently because Ho-oh found out pretty damn quick and went to take away all of my alcohol. He had a hard time trying to separate me from my beer, that's for sure. I didn't go down without a fight, that's even surer. But he got me out of it anyway, kept a close eye on me for quite some time, at least a year, he'd come every couple of days to check my fridge and make sure that I didn't smell like liquor or beer. Why would he care anyways?! He never cared anyway, I suspect Arceus's intervention. But still, unless the definition of cared had changed to be 'Delivery of minor to major bodily harm to a well known person as well as frequent insults', he sure as the Distortion World didn't give half a shit. And still didn't as far as my knowledge went.

Manaphy breaks me out of my reverie by poking my right wing with a fervor. I do like the little shrimp, no matter how many times Kyogre says that he's trying to usurp her a Ruler of the Seas. Whatever. He'd be eaten by a Sharpedo within the first week.

"Yeah."

"Lugy, I needs a pill-ting."

I'm a bit shocked for a second then I realize that he means a Tylenol, and not Meth or something.

I snort, " There should be some down there." I point to the mess of opened pill bottles and saran wrap were several Legendaries were parked downing the drug and hoping for relief.

"But der ain't notin' down der'!"

Frowning, I turn around and walk down to see what the little bugger speaks of.

Indeed, there is nothing there except garbage.

"Well, I guess you're gonna to learn your lesson now."

He makes a grumbling sound, but says nothing. Good, one case solved . I won't have to deal with a drunk Manaphy for a long time now. Maybe forever. After this jarring experience, he probably won't be drunk for quite some time. And I won't have to deal with that drunken accent of his, or, did he speak like that all of the time? I don't know. Never spoke to him much. Is it even a him?!

I also wonder where that over grown Pidgey is? Probably being a massive hypocrite and going to sleep or fixing his hair. It's not like he does much else. I'll get the bastard back sometime though. Revenge on him is as sweet as Mesprit's cooking. (Which is completely amazing by the way)

No one really seems in a really bothersome mood today, which is good. Probably drowning in their own stupidity and self-hatred for drinking too much. I've been to these parties before, I know the self-loathing when it's all said and done. You're on a hangover that makes it feel like Groudon is using you brain as a bongo and it goes on for _days._

And I can practically guarantee that it was a combination of Giratina, Palkia and Azelf who created this shit storm. Arceus is going to kill whoever started it, bring them back, then kill them another ten times before they hit the ground and let their corpses be eaten by a group of rabid Mandibuzz. More of the lethal stupidity disease. It seems like even the most powerful are infected with the corruptive infection sometimes. I peer down at the Reaper of Stained Souls from Arceus's platform, he's lying on the crystalline floor like the majority of people but is lucky enough to have a pair of curtain-like wings to shade his eyes from the holy light that seems to pour from every conceivable angle in this place. I watch as he gets up and messily slashes a portal to his own world, the floor is clean enough to act as a mirror. He recklessly tosses himself in it and it seals itself up. The others are too occupied with their overwhelming self-pity to notice.

A sound from behind me makes me spin around, an instinct from all of the times Ho-oh used to sneak up on me when we were just little hatchlings.

Arceus stood there, the pinnacle of perfect and awesome, no matter how much Ho-oh bantered that it was his title. Yeah, the overgrown rainbow Pidgey couldn't beat the supreme and omnipotent Goddess of Life and existence itself. At least he was smart enough to keep his little quips about it between himself and me.

Her fur is white, but not the silverish white that I have, it's a pure, blinding white, it's smooth and there isn't a strand out of place. The wheel around her stomach, even though gold is a weaker metal, seems indestructible. No matter how many attacks all of her kids throw at it, not a dent nor scratch mar it's surface. Her wavy mane is striped with charcoal and ebony running through it, as is her tail. Her pointed hooves are likewise fashioned with gold.

She smiles up at me, which I always find weird. Shouldn't a supreme Goddess be taller than her subjects? Whatever, she could still kick anyone's ass to the Distortion World and back without batting an eyelash.

_"Lugia, how is your stay at Navel Rock?"_

"It's alright, it's certainly isn't the Whirl Islands, thats for sure."

_"Of course. Besides that, I wish for you to go and check up on the Whirl Islands. Even though I do like the humans and admire their adventurous and odd spirit, you must keep them from inhabiting your home."_

"I doubt that they'd inhabit that barren wasteland."

_"Do not doubt the stubbornness of the Pokémon trainer humans, Lugia, that just might be your downfall. Though arrogance is normally Ho-oh's type of thing, is it not?"_

"Of course, I'll leave right away."

_"Thank-you Lugia."_

No matter how tired your muscles are, no matter how much you want to fall asleep on the floor, you always comply instantly to Arceus. Brownie points are always good to have with her.

I'm flying away as fast as I can so I don't get called back to take care of the drunk failures. My curiosity eventually trumps my want to escape and I'm turning around to see Arceus practically dragging her first-born son out of his room to take care of them while she does other things.

Suck it you fat, blue, Rapidash! Karmas' a bitch!

I know how to get to the Whirl islands and back to Spear Pillar pretty well. Almost a billion years of indistinct commute kind of makes you remember, no matter how stone-headed you are on directions.

I pass over the place where me and Ho-oh meet up to fly the rest of the distance to the hall. We originally did it because I had a hard time finding the place, but even after I knew the way off by heart neither of us had the heart to go our separate way even though we didn't say anything during our flights, so we just keep on flying together.

A gentle updraft lets me rest my aching wings and just drift, sighing as the pressure lifts itself from my wings. Soon, whirlpools appear sporadically, then every couple hundred feet, then every ten, until there's a big clod of them surrounding a meagerly spaced, pitifully small cluster of islands that I call home.

I land seamlessly, barely even knocking up any dust that would coat my feathers and make Ho-oh angry. I don't really feel like washing myself for a bit, the oils from my skin keep my feathers waterproof so I don't get waterlogged and weigh a ton every time I swim. Lets see that living rainbow try to swim.

Peering into the care merits a response of a trainer yelling brisk orders at their Pokémon to attack the cave's regular inhabitants. I hiss silently, then decide to go in the back way, from an underwater cave.

I feel like fucking Batman or something. I'm not even kidding. Sneaking in the back of a cave, around an extremely strong trainer.(who has a soul that's the colour of Giratina's scales)

I shear the water with my hydrodynamic form, swirling to gain speed as I sink closer to the entrance which is barely visible in the waning light several thousand feet under the sea. The entrance is built directly into an almost completely horizontal wall of rock that comprises the support to one of the smaller islands. After a few feet inside the jet black cave, it goes almost directly vertical, the walls are smooth, circular and uniform. I can see the surface as the vertical tube tips a bit to the side and I spring out of the water and into the secret room behind the waterfall.

The roaring of tumbling liquid makes me snap out of the reverie induced by swimming in the chilling oceans that I call home. I can't hear anything, even if I wanted to, and the rushing water is about as opaque as mercury. I peep my head out through the curtain of salty water and into my home. The debris that I left there still cluster the floor, each pile from a different battle that stands out like a sore thumb in my mind when I look hesitantly at each one. Chunks are missing from the walls, floor and ceiling, most of them caused by my own attacks, but a few caused by particularly powerful Pokémon. The rock is still the same greyish-blue that Ho-oh can't stand and is always trying to get Groudon to change. But I like it, the blue calms me down when the battles end, no matter how badly they end. I'll just stare at the wall until all of the details and shadows meld away and my vision is a plain slate of dull blue that comprises all of my thoughts and feelings, driving away the negative thoughts. It drives out the negative and replaces it with blue. Better than suicidal thoughts I guess.

Ho-oh also keeps bugging me that it smells of mold and mildew here and that he worries for my respiratory health, although I don't smell anything. Maybe you just get used to certain smells when you live with them daily.

The bells are still there, dilapidated and covered with patches of barnacles and rust that won't come off no mater how many Hydro Pumps I throw at it. I severely doubt their ability to ring now.

Through the lookout a floor up, I see a flash of colours and duck my head back into the cavern. It has to be the trainer, the guard doesn't wear any bright colours, he just wears white, and two shades of blue in a few places. He's almost here, having got past the guard with one of my feathers and the Tidal Bell. I wonder what kind of Pokémon he or she has, they're definitely all completely evolved, overly powerful for any normal Pokémon and they usually have at least one dragon type. Almost all dragons are known for being ruthless and merciless. Most likely a fire type as well.

After several minutes of thinking, the trainer peeps it's head into the cavern, looking around in a comical fashion. I figure out that it is actually a she who has super long, brown hair thats a bit frizzy, scratch that, it's_ really_ frizzy. It looks like a dried-up bush. Her jeans are scuffed up around the bottom and the knees and she wears a pair of navy sneakers. Her tee-shirt is worn a bit as well and has some old band on it that some of my friends listen to on the front, the image peeling away. Her skin is a pasty white, as if she had never seen the sun a day in her life. She's really unassuming, barely five feet in height and a bit fat. Four regular Pokéballs, one Great ball and one Ultra ball are hooked onto the leather belt that resides on her waist.

She shuffles around for a bit, seeming lost, before she walks up to the waterfall and runs right through it as if it didn't bother her at all. Quite a feat for a such a little mite. I watch as she lands perfectly, but fucks it up big time, then trips and falls flat on her face in the greyish mud. I snort, but don't move as she rights herself and gets the mud out of her eyes. She probably only got past the guard by telling him she had a research project for her mandatory grade 6 Legendary Studies class. Her hair is plastered in a mop-like clod, caked with mud, on her face. Her shirt and pants are covered as well.

She stares up at me with huge eyes that creep me out a bit. She's odd. I watch as the little girl frowns at my laughter and pulls the first Pokéball off of her belt and holds it up to me and asks me for a battle. Her little squeaky voice cracks a bit and she's as quiet as a mouse. I laugh at her a bit and the little tyke seems pissed off. Oohhh, I'm so scared. I like her spunk though. She just stands there, staring at me. Okay, I've had enough of this kid already, spunk or not. Then I roar as loud as I can.

She lands out in the main area after being thrown about thirty or forty feet. She stands up and her hair is stuck straight back, it reminds me of that retarded and pointless extension on the back of Dialga's head.

She stares at me like a cornered animal before turning and running as fast as I've ever seen a human run back to the entrance hall, tears flowing from her face.

As she runs, two small, silver, shining object tumble from her knapsack and fall to the ground. A gentle ringing echoes out, fading with her footsteps.

I think about leaving the objects there, to rot and become part of the mess that always seems to be here, but the sound it made is so familiar and it echoes in my head, bouncing around in brain so that I can't ignore it.

I transform into my human form, and let the intense sense of vertigo dissipate before I examine the objects.

I pick up the bell first, and in an instant I recognize it. The Tidal Bell. So she was one of the chosen ones. My Chosen ones. The other object comes as no big surprise after seeing the first, one of my feathers, or, as the humans call them, 'the Silver Feathers'. She obviously worked hard to earn both as you had to find the feather yourself and once you had a "Silver Feather" battle with th Kimono Girls, who were notoriously strong, beat them all consecutively, then answer a test for them to loan you the Tidal Bell. They would probably have her hanged for losing the sacred object.

I bite my lip, then decide to return it.

I peer down at the feather that lays in my hand. It's worn and some of the fibers are missing. The silver chain that it's attached to is tarnished with great age. The silvern luster that all of my feathers have is faded and It's speckled with mud. It's in a state of monumental disarray. I feel bad for her. It's obviously a family heirloom, an old one at that. Judging from the Byzantine chain, she probably has heritage from the Shamouti islands where me and my trio are worshiped like Arceus and the Creation Trio are in Sinnoh and most everywhere else.

I frown a bit, lay the necklace and bell on a nearby rock, and transform into my Pokémon form. I peer down at my body, the feathers on the tops of my wing tips look long, smooth and clean. Not ruffled like the ones on the bottom of my tail or torso. I raise my wing, brace myself, and pluck out the longest feather before returning to my human form.

The feather is quite a bit larger than my human form's hand, and is a pure white until the tips fade into a glittering silver.

I nod to myself, a self-reassuring gesture. I pick up all of the items that I had laid on the rock and bound away towards where she left. The uchikake is a bit restricting, but I still manage to go at a decent speed. I catch up to her when she takes a break just before the entrance. She's bent over a rock, panting for air. The guard gasps at my unexpected and sudden appearance. His mouth forming an amusing 'O' shape before he bows, his head grazing the floor, saying,

"Mistress Lugia, I am honored."

I bow lightly back and he watches me with awe.

The girl stands up straight, her back to me, before pivoting and backing away with the same frightened face. I put on what I hoped to be an assuring and gentle smile before advancing towards her, my geta clacking on the stone. I was never good with humans. She backs into a wall, clasps her eyes shut, and turns her head from me as if she doesn't want to watch her own supposed demise. I simply tap her on the shoulder and hold out the objects in one hand. The feathers and bell glint in the meager light that radiates from the scarce torches on the wall. She stops appearing afraid and just stares incredulously at my attire, at me, her eyes hilariously gigantic. I grab her hand and easily overcome her resistance, turn it palm-up, and drop the newly plucked feather, necklace and Tidal Bell into it. She looks at the objects in her hand before returning her gaze to me. I ruffle her hair gently, but briskly before I say,

"I'll battle you when you are ready, young one. That time will not be far off. I can tell."

She smiles like a young child given an abundance of candy, I ruffle her hair before I run out the main entrance, transform back to my Pokémon form, and launch into the air. She rushes outside with the guard and watch me disappear off towards the Sinnoh region. I leave with a smile seemingly permanently plastered onto my face and a bubbly feeling in the pit of my stomach. I can't wait to see that trainer again, an actually nice trainer, for me! Not for that fat rainbow Pidgey! I perform an aileron roll which switches into a barrel roll and I dip into the ocean. The chilly water that resides closer to Sinnoh assaults me but I stay underneath the waves and watch as the local inhabitants stare in awe and rush of to tell the others that one of their patron goddesses is swimming nearby. I continued on, falling into a daze about halfway there. The ocean tides directing me to where I want to go.

* * *

Eventually, the ocean becomes rough and I jolt out of my day dream. I slip out of the ocean's embrace and into the damp air. There are twenty foot, white-capped waves everywhere and freezing rain pelts from the black, pregnant cloud cover that periodically flashes with lightning. The only way the ocean would get like this is,  
a) Arceus is in another fight with her children / her first two children getting in a big-ass fight or  
b) Kyogre is getting in another major fight with Groudon.

Either way, some big shit is going down somewhere.

Land, at this point, is just an indistinct black splotch on the horizon and I speed towards it with desperation. I don't know exactly how long I've spent at the Whirl islands, but according to the setting sun, it's been quite a while since I've left. I don't want to be out here, in the rain with thunder echoing out everywhere. I'm not an idiot like Ho-oh likes to call me. I'd rather be in a building with Groudon and Kyogre fighting that getting electrocuted by thunder. Personal preference I guess.

The distinction between the blotch of land that is Sinnoh and the rest of my surroundings becomes hazy with a wall of fog. The collection of water particles in the air makes my feathers laden with chilled liquid, that, at this altitude, freezes solid in a matter of seconds. Just great. I fly faster until the fog breaks over a lower ridge of Mount Coronet, kind of near to Spear Pillar.

I arrive at Spear Pillar, no raging High Goddesses and Gods wage war here so I can safely and happily assume that it's just Kyogre getting pissed from another stupid insult from the crimson Barney.

I forgo the stairway and fly up, shake myself off, and shove open the door. The first thing I see is a cluster of Pokémon that are scattering and a pissed looking Arceus and Dialga standing in between a steaming Groudon and Kyogre. Well, I escaped the worst of it, thankfully. I sort of creep my way around the four Pokémon, avoiding their gaze and keeping my head low. Not getting involved in that mess.

I can hear Arceus huff as I'm almost to the dorms, saying

_"Dialga, I'm sure you can handle this little skirmish, yes?"_

He nods his head and Arceus steps towards me. I straighten up a little bit but keep my head low in a sort of bow.

_"Lugia, there is no need of that with me, you know that. So, how did it go?"_

"It went pretty good nothings' changed, I met a trainer but I didn't fight her. I told her that I'd maybe fight her later. But shes a _good-hearted_ trainer Arceus, not Ho-oh 's level of good but still! I never thought that I'd -"

Arceus just smiles knowingly. With a nod, she dismisses me to my chamber.

I transform into my human form and practically trot towards my room. Everyone else has dispersed around the hall, some into their rooms, some just chatting or doing nothing in general. I swing open the door with vigor, and skip down the hall. My door has intricate ocean like swirls, twists and ripples of silver along with jewels of every possible shade of blue. I don't skip a beat and open the door with a flick of my psychic powers and throw myself onto the plush silk comforter that covers my bed. My room is very similar to Ho-oh's in regards of it's design, but not it's colour scheme. Old fashioned is a good way to summarize it. A window uses one of Palkia's spacial portals to make it look out over a part of the sea near the Whirl Islands. Swags and Jabot curtains made with a shimmering navy material identical to the one that comprise my comforter and several other things. All of the wood in the room is unstained and is birch and carved with intricate swirls reminiscent of the ocean. The floor is made of the same birch wood except that in the middle there is a patch of plush navy carpet that I often sit down on to meditate.

I slip off my uchikake, geta and tabi and yank on a silk nightgown because I'm too tired to find pajamas, before sliding down to rest on the carpet. Meditating, I find is more energy-replenishing than sleep. I watch as a blue tinted aura flits across my entire body before I let myself fall into the trance.

* * *

**Stats** (Does not include Author's note, definitions, etc)

**This chapter's words :** 4219

**Cumulative words :** 13257

**Paragraphs (this chapter) :** 79

**Characters (this chapter) :** 18120

**Sentences (this chapter) :** 256

**Pages in Word Perfect at size twelve font and in Times New Roman ̃**≈8

* * *

**EDITS : **_Saturday, April 13th, 2013 :_ Did minor edits to flow, word choice, nouns, adding and deleting sentences, etc.


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